Addiction: A Thief In The Night?

In the fall 2010 semester I wrote a series on student addiction for the Patriot Talon. Writing the series has become a highlight of my life thus far. The privilege of conversing with different specialists on the subject, and the personal conversations with various people concerning their past, or present addiction truly impacted my thoughts and functioning invaluably.

The types of addictions I wrote about included: Drug addictions, body image addictions/ eating disorders,  technology addictions, and sex and pornography addictions.

Here is an excerpt of a final column I wrote to sum up the series:

"I feel pressured to look a certain way because ...

I don't have many friends, so I ...

I was lonely and seeking intimacy, so I ...

You fill in the blank; but whatever it is, college kids likely struggle with it and may even be addicted to it.
While writing the series on addictions in student life, I must have heard six different variations of the same cry, a cry of need in some way: "I smoke weed because it releases inhibitions and dulls anxiety," and "I didn't date in high school, so I sought intimacy with pornography."

My favorite description of an addiction I found while interviewing experts is the counterfeit concept that Chris Legg, licensed professional counselor in Tyler, told me about.
"I think, overall, addictions are usually about us trying to meet a totally appropriate need, a totally appropriate desire, just in an inappropriate way," Legg said. "All addictions are counterfeit versions, and so the real thing that you want, you're still not getting."

I love this perspective because it humanizes the people controlled by their addiction.
Often times, I find spectators of addiction speak of it in such a morally black-and-white fashion, and what I mean by that is people commonly consider addicts to be fools because they just need to stop, since it's obviously "wrong" or "bad" for them.

Common stereotypes simply do not do justice to the real transparent lives of addicts.
Looking at addictions as simply counterfeit, cheap versions of real, legitimate needs people may be looking for, allows for healthy people to relate and empathize rather than chastise or belittle.

What I realized is addictions are really all the same underneath the various manifestations.
People are looking for something whether it is intimacy, acceptance or a way to escape their realities because of hurt, shame and remorse or to supplement low self-esteem, loneliness, anxiety or rejection.

Addicts are people who struggle in life just like you and me, but instead choose the cheap, fake, quick version of the Rolex watch they really want rather than saving up for the real thing.
It's easier in the short term, but often it obliterates the long term.

It's almost as though I have had and continue to have a ringside seat in watching people struggle with addictions, as I'm sure many of you do also.
I have many people in my life that have or do meet the criteria of an addict, including my older sister who struggled with addictions to many substances.
I have to say several of my friends and family, who smoke marijuana use other illicit drugs, drink in excess or are addicted to the way they look, stand among some of the most unique, intelligent and beautiful people I know.

I sincerely enjoy them as individuals, but I don't enjoy their substance abuse or addictive actions.
Addictions are so relevant in this generation, and I feel as though I've observed addictions swallow up the potential of people I love.
I want to see people live life to its fullest and watching people become dependant on a substance or an action that is rapidly or slowly eating away years of their lives, or inhibiting their lives to any degree really hurts me.

I've seen addictions ruin dreams, families, relationships and personal health."
Find the complete column printed in the Patriot Talon here.

What are your thoughts on addiction? Leave a comment, or post on my Facebook!

Changing Lanes

When I began driving I, of course, spent the required hours of practice driving before I recieved my license. One of the tasks I clearly remember struggling with was changing lanes. My dad would always instruct me to check my mirrors, look behind my shoulder, turn on my blinker, and then speed up during my transition to safely change lanes. In my own mind there was such a disconnect. For some reason, the only way I could interpret his guidance was to somehow switch lanes in a formation resembling the letter "L." I thought I had to slide over into the lane and then speed up, and this structure was the only way I could comprehend. Although this recollection sounds silly, and perhaps embarrassing, I believe it is a perfect metaphor for the many choices and transitions I, we, face in life.

When I encounter choices, changes and transitions I'm often only able to picture the situation from my pre-existing or created comprehension of what it will look like. Sometimes I cannot comprehend how these adjustments could look from a different view, or even from the other side. Many times I try and impose my understanding to the elements when sometimes I don't understand from where I am.

One day it just clicked. Afters hours, days, months of practice and licensed driving I acquired the skill of changing lanes, but it wasn't just the skill I assimilated, I gained the perspective of transitioning in a diagonal line rather than an "L." This new perspective was much easier, safer, and made more sense. The struggle was not a question of destination, but rather how to run the course to the end. Sometimes it takes life experience paired with perseverance and other key character traits to grow.

The interesting thing about the whole learning process was my dad right there coaching me. The entire time he outlined step by step instruction, but still, it took time to grasp. The disconnect had little to do with rebellion, for I wanted the ability to perform well, but instead it had much to do with how I processed the given action. After all, I had someone right beside me guiding me.

The solution to my quandary was found in the relentless attempts of applying the instruction I received, the courage and dignity to keep trying, and never running away from my given guidance. The same is true for our lives.     

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." -Francis de Sales 

Emotions: Immaturity or Treasure?

 

Addressing concepts of human emotion: Should we transcend emotion to benefit a situation? Are emotions viewed as ignorance?

     Remember the phrases "big girls don't cry" or "men don't cry?" These phrases and similar ones seem to inadvertently shape cultures view on emotions. Many of us grow up thinking it's bad to be upset and that we are not allowed to be emotional about situations we encounter. Over the course of my life, I have noticed that emotions are commonly stifled rather than dealt with. When I really dissected this concept, I came up with contradicting ideas.   

     I believe emotion naturally occurs within human beings and cannot be stifled. We are human. Even if a situation is viewed from the appropriate point of view, emotions will follow. I would venture to say that emotion is not ignorant nor evil, but rather beautiful and beneficial if the actions following the emotion are rightly accomplished. I do not ever want to transcend emotion. I want to instead achieve discernment and self-control, so my actions may be thoughtful and pleasing to my heavenly father. Life without emotion would be dull and without lesson.

     "Men owe the grandeur of their their lives to tremendous difficulties." -Charles Spurgeon

     I feel many people attempt to avoid emotion because they believe it is negative, largely due to their past experiences. Experiences of people, including themselves, reacting negatively out of their given emotion. Instead of learning from the beauty of their emotion, people try to cancel it out, which worsens the problem over time.

     I believe the key is what you do with the emotion. What does it lead to? It is good to be slow to anger, but if it does occur, the lesson is in how you deal with it. Do you cause harm out of your anger, or do you squelch your pride and love instead by putting the other person above your own selfish emotion. Example: lets say you inflict harm on others because of anger...your new objective is to learn from it. Realize it is wrong and apply it to your life. The same concept can be applied to an array of different emotions.

     However, I do not believe all anger, jealousy and other emotions are always negative- sometimes these emotions can be appropriate. This is evidence that perhaps emotions are not evil at the origin, but it is instead the fallen nature of this world that sours our convictions. Most every good thing outside of God is broken- even our emotion.

     "There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul."  -Arnold Bennett. 

Prerequisites for Creativity

Recently I have found myself lacking in inspiration and passion for activities I am normally  incredibly inspired and passionate about.

I love so many things, one of which is creating. To create life-oriented circumstances through the mediums of writing, dance, canvas, music... and the list continues. Creating is how I express, teach, illustrate, love, relate and so often is my therapy. I even describe it as "just breathing" to demonstrate its necessity to my heart.

I have realized that in order for me to complete these things, I must be inspired at least enough to pick up the pen or turn on the music.

The thing is, even my inspiration has a prerequisite. If my heart is not inspired by the Inspir-er Himself,  I cannot even complete things that are so close to my heart.

When I cannot complete these things, I feel hollow and unsure when living life in most all ways. I lack intentionality because of this.

In order for this series of events to take place, I must simply look to Him and trust him. 

I am thankful to identify this entire process so I may troubleshoot these situations in the future. However, I must point out that inspiration comes in many ways and I believe it is unreasonable to expect a similar sensation all of the time. Sometimes I have to do life without feeling like I am spurred on to do so.

Inspire-er>Inspiration>Creativity>Breathing>Pure heart, good conscience, sincere faith.
Without this sequence, all things are strained.(1 Tim 1:5-7)

I encourage you to seek your inspiration. Seek you inspire-er. You may just find your hope and purpose in life.

I apologize for the lack of posts this last month. I am excited to say I will be posting once or twice a week for the summer months.

Next post: Emotions.

A Wise Man Loves Truth, Reproof

I love Journalism.

I love working at the Patriot Talon.

     I enjoy these things because I am passionate about justice, truth and people. The untainted mission behind the art of journalism requires these elements in order to function properly and efficiently. Within the heartbeat of journalists lies the responsibility to deliver truth, shine light on injustice committed in government, administrations or communities, and also to tell the stories of real people; stories that would potentially never be heard. Journalists seek to give voice to the otherwise voiceless.

     However, sometimes the truth is not flattering, or a movement that evokes pride. Sometimes, the truth is ugly and offensive.

     My Patriot Talon co-worker and friend Andy Taylor made a great point concerning truth in his most recent blog post:

"Some say that truth is relative and that it means something different to everyone. But while the truth may be debated, it should not be attacked," Taylor said.

     We recently published an editorial driven by our desire for truth and justice, because we believe the student voice is something worth fighting for. Through various circumstances described in the editorial, we believe our first amendment rights are being tampered with. The issue at hand is much, much larger than the termination of a  specific adviser that many do not favor.

     Taylor relayed in his posting that we did not want to commandeer the front page of the paper with this pressing issue, because many of the other stories published deserved great attention as well, but because of the circumstances we deemed the content worthy.  

      Many negative comments condemning the quality of our content and publication as a whole, leave us confused.

     It appears students who are unhappy with the editorial want to see only stories that promote a positive image for the University, which cancels out a main element of our function as journalists.

      The reaction from the student body leaves us beat-up, but also grateful.

     We are grateful for the corrections for a couple reasons: We are thankful that the student body, and whoever else, is engaging on a topic that matters. We also welcome correction because we can benefit from the feedback, and benefit from simply enduring the reproof although we cannot respond or defend ourselves.

Perhaps the students are forgetting we are students too.
I, we, will remain obligated to honesty.

Just when you think you have no pride...

     The past couple months of my life have impacted my character in the most unique of ways.

     I do not consider myself a prideful person, nor do I contemplate my humility in vain, but recently I have been reminded of my pride. I've not been reminded of this reality because of some self-righteous, extravagant display of my pride, but rather by my lack of humility, and continuous ability to be humbled.   

      Just when I think I can't possibly be humbled anymore, unceasingly I am humbled again. 

     Although the causes of humbling can be confusing, painful, chaotic and the origin of heartache- I wouldn't change it.

   Through various happenings, which add up to borderline what I believe to be my mortal breaking point, I arrive at this humble place resembling that of the most unworthy.

     The truth is, it hurts to be humbled. It hurts when you don't feel as though it can worsen but it does.  I do believe there's hope though..there is beauty within the ashes.

     My hope is: Counting it all joy, and recognizing there is a place to find my worth even though my humanity is weak.

     To be honest, I believe I grow most through times of trial. whether the trial is self-inflicted or environmental. I hope never to find myself lacking in trials simply because I shelter myself from potential hurting.
    However, I do not wish to encounter difficulty as an extremist, believing I cannot grow otherwise. For not many desire to get in a car wreck, or smash their hand in a door, or a fail a friendship for frivolous reasons.
     Instead may I find myself taking advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow from the lesser beauties in my life.

     To me, it is the most beautiful thing to watch someone pass through times of hurting, or trial and see how they come out on the other side- to see someone learn from, and acquire beautiful characteristics out of such an unattractive situation is: what life is about.

"A man can counterfeit love, he can counterfeit faith, he can counterfeit hope and all the other graces, but it is very difficult to counterfeit humility."-- D. L. Moody

Behind my red reporter glasses: personal thoughts on student atheism

I recently wrote another Student belief story for the newspaper on the topic of atheism. I really, really enjoyed writing the article and I feel honored the individuals were so honest and transparent with me about their beliefs.

Many of us may be familiar with atheism, but I came to learn that the actual definition, as it plays out in people's lives, is open to interpretation. The official definition according to the American Atheist organization is as follows:

Atheism is the lack of belief in a deity, which implies that nothing exists but natural phenomena. There are no forces, phenomena or entities, which exist or transcend outside physical nature, nor can there be.

The most surprising information I found in my research is that atheists are the least accepted social group in the United States, even compared to homosexuals, immigrants, Jews and Muslims.  Many people I shared that data with were not surprised, but I truly was shocked by it. It's intriguing to identify the different levels of what "is acceptable" and the morals of the general public, and then also to find the speculation or claim of the absence of deity to be more severe than the harsh stances many hold to the above mentioned social groups. One student I interviewed said “some people basically equate us to Satanists."
Perhaps this needs to be re-evaluated, withheld and or redistributed. I am in no way validating any belief or stance, but instead hoping to provoke thought. Atheists are people with souls just like anyone else. On the same token, may each one of us strive to be people who are respected in the way we conduct ourselves.

In correlation with the student age, the current generation is said to be the least religiously affiliated in comparison to others with 29% absent from claiming religious affiliation. This number does not cross indicate that they are all atheist, but as Jesse Galef from the Secular Student Alliance said, atheism among students is growing. The number of affiliates with SSA has more than doubled in the last 3 years. There is a lurking question behind this data..why? What is the reason behind the movement?
Many could assert the reasons of knowledge, enlightenment, secularization, lack of morals etc. While credit may be owed to the some of the above speculations, may I also present the idea that many have been hurt by our American church in in some way. So many people I know have been burned by the words and actions of those involved with religion, and I feel this is a major detour-ant to faith. I am aware this borderlines oversimplification, and I do not intend to generalize a complex subject.

During my research I interviewed many people who profess atheism and found some unique perspectives. One individual shared that although he identifies with atheism, he feels religion has had an incredible impact on society, and finds it's roll in history to be essential. Another man I spoke with had been a part of the christian religion for 40 years, and spent 20 of those on a christian commune. The atheist community seems to be very diverse in spiritual backgrounds and walks of life.  

The last subject I found to be interesting was morality. A central concept through each one of my conversations concerning atheism is the idea that humanity has an innate sense of moral built within us, which is independent of any belief system.
 
Check out my story on atheism located on the right of this blog under "silly little reporter girl."