I do not consider myself a prideful person, nor do I contemplate my humility in vain, but recently I have been reminded of my pride. I've not been reminded of this reality because of some self-righteous, extravagant display of my pride, but rather by my lack of humility, and continuous ability to be humbled.
Just when I think I can't possibly be humbled anymore, unceasingly I am humbled again.
Although the causes of humbling can be confusing, painful, chaotic and the origin of heartache- I wouldn't change it.
Through various happenings, which add up to borderline what I believe to be my mortal breaking point, I arrive at this humble place resembling that of the most unworthy.
The truth is, it hurts to be humbled. It hurts when you don't feel as though it can worsen but it does. I do believe there's hope though..there is beauty within the ashes.
My hope is: Counting it all joy, and recognizing there is a place to find my worth even though my humanity is weak.
To be honest, I believe I grow most through times of trial. whether the trial is self-inflicted or environmental. I hope never to find myself lacking in trials simply because I shelter myself from potential hurting.
However, I do not wish to encounter difficulty as an extremist, believing I cannot grow otherwise. For not many desire to get in a car wreck, or smash their hand in a door, or a fail a friendship for frivolous reasons.
Instead may I find myself taking advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow from the lesser beauties in my life.
To me, it is the most beautiful thing to watch someone pass through times of hurting, or trial and see how they come out on the other side- to see someone learn from, and acquire beautiful characteristics out of such an unattractive situation is: what life is about.
"A man can counterfeit love, he can counterfeit faith, he can counterfeit hope and all the other graces, but it is very difficult to counterfeit humility."-- D. L. Moody